


Love How It Hurts

by whatsfreewillspoint



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Accidental use of English words - I'm sorry, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Geek!Dean, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, M/M, alternative POV, more tags will be added, nerd!dean, popular!cas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-23
Updated: 2014-05-04
Packaged: 2018-01-20 13:21:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1512014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatsfreewillspoint/pseuds/whatsfreewillspoint
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester is the school nerd and one of the only open homosexuals. He's come to live with it, and the bullying that comes along with having brain cells and a preference for men. He stays as quiet as possible, which is quite difficult when Jo Harvelle and Charlie Bradbury are his best friends, and tries to avoid as many people he can. When Castiel Novak, belonging to one of the richest families in America and one of schools most popular students, takes notice of Dean for what he believes is the first time, he knows he's in for a ride.<br/>The title is the song 'Love How it Hurts' by Scouting for Girls.<br/>This is on a very long hiatus. Might come back to this in a like 4 years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I've been waiting...

**Author's Note:**

> Hey :D  
> If there are any mistakes, can you please let me know in the comments. I've checked it, but I have the tendency to miss my own mistakes :s
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

"Sup fag," Alistair, the school bully, snapped in Dean's ear. He was pushed up against his locker with Alistair holding his head mashed against it. "Been suckin' any cocks lately, huh?" Spit sprayed into Dean's ear as Alistair's lisp became known to him once again.

"Fuck off Al..." Dean said as his head got slammed against the locker again, cutting him off, wincing in pain.

"I'll fuck off when you stop being a faggot." The hand the wasn't on Dean's face punched into his ribs. Dean let out a small whimper and he could feel a smirk grow on Alistair's face.

"Leave him alone Alistair," said a rough voice from behind Dean. "What's he ever done to you?" 

Alistair reluctantly let go and Dean turned to see who helped him. Stood there was Castiel Novak, staring at the bully, with a look of impatience on his face. Alistair clenched his fists but before he could reply, Castiel softened his features and focused his eyes on Dean.

"Are you okay Dean?" He asked politely, deep voice rumbling through the now empty corridor. Dean nodded as he watched Alistair walk away, fists clenched, and practically growling under his breath.

"Wait?... How do you know my name?" Dean asked looking back at Castiel. Dean was well known, but for being clever and gay and, except his few friends, no one ever bothered to learn his name.

Castiel let out a low chuckle and something flipped in Dean's stomach. He would be lying if Dean said he didn't have a crush on Castiel, but then again who doesn't?

"You're in my algebra class, and you put you hand up a lot." Dean blushed a little at Castiel's reply, looking down slightly. "I'm Castiel Novak."

When Dean looked up he saw Castiel's hand stuck out in front of him, with a small smile on his face. Dean took his hand and huffed a laugh. "Yeah, I know." Castiel's smile grew a little at Dean's confession and Dean grew even redder. Dean removed his hand from Cas' and rubbed the back of his neck. "Well if you don't mind, I have to get home, but thanks for, well, you know." It was the end of the day and Dean was all ready to go to home and watch some cheesy old sci-fi film while scoffing on popcorn.

Castiel's smile dropped and withdrew his hand, clearing his throat. "Yeah, sure." Dean smiled quickly at Cas and turned towards the exit. "You sure you're okay though, Dean?" He asked quickly before Dean was out of earshot.

Dean stopped and let out a light sigh. "Yeah I'm fine thanks Cas." He turned back and gave him a shy smile and it dropped when Dean saw Castiel's surprised face. "What's wrong?" Dean asked politely

The corners of Castiel's mouth flicked up. "You called me 'Cas'" he explained, face breaking into a full grin at the look on Dean's face which looked both shocked and very embarrassed.

"Oh I um... I meant Castiel, sorry." Dean lied, looking down again. He could hear and feel Cas come closer until he was in his personal space. Dean sucked in a breath.

"Don't be sorry Dean, it's perfectly fine. You can call me whatever you want." Castiel replied softly, looking up into the other boys forest green eyes. Castiel's hand found Dean's shoulder and he squeezed it gently. Dean looked down at the Cas' hand and followed his arm with his eyes. Eventually, they were looking into each other's eyes. Dean saw Castiel's overly blue eyes widen, like he had realised something. Dean doesn't know how long they stood there by it seemed like hours, easily getting lost in the eyes opposite his.

To Dean's disappointment, Castiel looked away first. Dean blushed and shut his eyes when he realised that Castiel's eyes were skimming over his nose and cheeks, looking no doubt at his freckles. A smile tugged at Castiel's lips as he lifted his hand up, cupping Dean's face and stoking his thumb along his cheek.

Dean's eyes flew open and moved away from the soft touch on his face. Clearing his throat, Castiel moved away quickly mumbling an apology and practically ran to the exit. Dean looked after Cas wondering what the fuck just happened.

\----

Dean arrived at home still confused about what happened between him and the most popular boy in school. Something did happen, didn't it? Dean wasn't just imagining it was he? He didn't even know Cas was gay.

Going through the front door he shouted to tell anyone home that he's there. He turned to close the door and stopped still to see a 1964 red mustang parked across the street from him house. He opened the door fully and stepped out to get a better look. Dean appreciated good looking cars and, man, was this a beauty. He walked across the street to look at it properly, running his hand over the Impala as if to say 'you're still my baby'.

He walked up to the bonnet and stopped in shock to see someone sat in the car. Not wanting to intrude Dean held his hand up apologetically and moved away from the car before seeing who owned this set of wheels. He'd get to look properly later on, he thought.

His thoughts were interrupted to a car door opening and slamming shut hard. Dean flinched and winced at the sound, but carried on towards his house. He'd almost reached the front door when a hand was placed on his shoulder and was spun around, face to face with the other person. Dean's eyes grew wide when he saw Castiel Novak stood in front of him with a stern look on his face. Dean gasped when Castiel moved close up to him and put their faces together so they were cheek to cheek. 

"I swear to god if yo tell anyone about this I will break you." Castiel whispered into Dean's ear, his deep voice seemingly hoarse and gritty, sending a shiver all the way down Dean's spine. Castiel pulled away so their foreheads were almost touching, just a centimetre between them.

"Tell anyone about w...?" Dean started but was cut off as Cas closed the distance between the two, locking his lips around Dean's. Castiel let out a small moan as he brought his hands up to Dean's neck, gently tugging and running his finger through the hairs behind his ears. Dean tensed immediately and was about to pull away when Cas lightly nipped at Dean's bottom lip with his teeth, causing him to whimper. Relaxing into the kiss, Dean grabbed the collar of Castiel's trench coat, pulling him closer. Castiel licked at Dean's lips and Dean parted them, granting Cas access to the inside of his mouth. Castiel took full advantage of this, exploring Dean's mouth with enthusiasm. Dean moaned as Castiel moved his hand down Dean's body to grab his ass through his jeans, pushing Dean forwards and towards Castiel's body. Castiel groaned into Dean's mouth pushing him backwards until his ankles hit the porch steps, and fell on his ass bringing, Cas down with him, lips never breaking. Cas straddled Dean and started slowly grinding down on Dean's growing erection. Dean would have been embarrassed if he wasn't so in the moment, if he didn't want this so much. They were both so distracted that they didn't notice the door open, Mary Winchester stepping out.

"Dean was that y...? Oh my goodness!" Mary exclaimed, giggling to herself whilst she turned around and headed back into the house.

Cas eventually broke away from Dean's mouth, breathing heavily. "Fuuck..." Dean huffed out a laugh.

"Yeah." Dean whispered, eyes closed. Castiel rested his head at the crook of Dean's neck placing soft kisses there. Dean sighed in content.

"I didn't think it would be like that." Cas stated.

"What would?" Dean asked innocently.

"Kissing a guy. Kissing you." Castiel explained. 

"Oh, wait you though about kissing me?" Castiel blushed a little at Dean's question.

"Uh, yeah. A lil' bit all the time..." Castiel said in a whisper, Dean only just making out what he said against his neck. Dean pushed Cas up so he was looking at him, though Castiel wouldn't look him in the eye. Dean cupped his hand under the other mans chin, forcing him to look into his eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Dean asked, trying hard not to sound annoyed, he'd been crushing on Castiel for as long as he can remember, since seeing those blue eyes, or his constant sex hair for the first time. 

Cas looked uncomfortable with Dean's question but Dean didn't care, he wanted to know what was going through his mind when he kissed him, and why he hadn't done it sooner. Cas looked at the floor, despite Dean's hand on his chin. "I was scared you wouldn't want to kiss me back..." Well he wasn't expecting that.

"Do you think I'm stupid enough to believe that? You're Castiel freaking Novak! You'd have to be an idiot not to want to kiss you" Dean spat back, more anger in his voice than he had intended.

Cas winced at Dean's reply. "It's true Dean. You look at me in the corridor or the cafeteria like I took a shit on your car or something. I though you hated me." He explained, getting quieter and quieter as he spoke. Dean just looked at him in shock.

"How could I hate someone I don't know? I don't hate you, I guess if anything I'm jealous of you, you've got high school wrapped around your finger. Teachers and pupils along with it." Dean said with a frown.

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Do I have you 'wrapped around my finger'?" Cas asked, sounding upset.

"I um... No." Dean answered. Cas seemed to cheer up a little to this answer, the corners of his lips flicking up.

"Good. That's good." Cas replied looking into Dean's eyes, smiling a lopsided grin at him. Before Dean could reply he heard the door behind him open. Cas jumped out of Dean's lap and dragged Dean up with him, pushing him away from him a little.

"Hey Dean... Having fun?" Mary asked with a big smile on her face. Dean looked at her, confused, ready to ask what she meant when Cas shoved his hand in front of him walking up the steps to join Mary at the door.

"Mrs Winchester I assume?" He asked with a friendly smile "I'm Castiel Novak, it's nice to meet you." Mary looked at him for moment, then at his hand, and back to his face. She smiled even wider, moved his hand out of the way and pulled him into a tight hug. Cas yelped in surprise before bringing his arms up awkwardly, reciprocating the hug. Dean let them hug it out for moment before he started to feel uncomfortable and broke up the hug, pulling Cas away from his mother.

"Alright that's enough mom, you'll break his bones if you hug him any tighter." He said sternly. Mary let go and laughed. 

"I just came out to tell you that you left Sammy at the library. He's been waiting a while," She explained before turning to Cas "and it's very nice to meet you too Castiel."

Dean sighed and turned to Cas too. "This isn't over." He said before going back in the house to grab his car keys and say bye to his mom, walking out the door, shutting it behind him. He walked down the steps on his porch expecting to talk to Cas some more when he saw the Mustang start up and rush down the street. He sighed again, realising it must have been Castiel's car. He got in the Impala, started it up and went to get his forgotten brother.


	2. All my life

The drive back home from the library with Sam was tense, more so than usual. Dean knew Sam could tell something was wrong, but being the good little brother he was he didn't say anything, which Dean was grateful for. Sammy knew Dean didn't like talking about his 'troubles', and no matter how much Sam pushed for answers he was, the majority of times, not going to get them.

That being said, Dean didn't appreciate the looks Sam was giving him every few seconds. It was making Dean annoyed, but he didn't say anything. That is until Sam decided to, with a look Dean could only describe as sympathy, stare at him intensely for about a minute.

"What the fuck do you want Sam?" Dean snapped. A small grin grew on Sammy's lips, which just wound Dean up more. It's like Sam was doing it on purpose.

"Nothing, nothing." He replied, smiling a little wider. "I was just wondering why you were late?" Sam asked with raised eyebrows. Dean felt a blush creep up his neck and tightened his grip on the steering wheel.

"I got distracted." Dean answered, hating how small he sounded. Sam looked forward out the window for a little while and Dean let out a heavy breath, glad that he had dropped the subject. Or so he thought.

"What distracted you?" Sam asked innocently. Dean inhaled quickly, thinking about the make out session he had, just fifteen minutes earlier. He didn't know what was stopping him from telling his little brother about the kiss. Sam knew Dean was gay and had been okay, happy really, when Dean came out.

Dean had been so nervous about telling his family he was gay. It was last year, and after so long of keeping it from his parents and brother, he needed to get it out.

Sam was cool with it, he said that he was his brother and that he loved him for him and not his sexual preference. Sammy really was too mature for a 13 year old, but Dean was extremely thankful he had such an understanding brother.

His mother beamed at him like she was proud of him, like he'd just won some sort of award. Mary told him she was happy he had gotten it off his chest, and that she knew something had been bothering him. She said nothing was going to change and that, like his brother, she loved him.

Dean was relieved at the reaction his mom and brother had, but was anxious about what his dad had to say. John was unusually quiet when Dean expressed himself, likewise when his family was accepting him, with no reaction on his face. When Dean had heard from his other family members, he looked expectantly to his dad. John was a traditional man, and Dean being gay isn't exactly how his father had raised him. John had taught Dean how to fix cars, how to play football, how to properly defend himself and how to be, stereotypically, straight. Dean prepared himself for the worst, but the worst never came. John looked into is son's eyes and gave him a genuine smile, then reached out and pulled Dean into a strong hug. Overwhelmed, Dean clung onto his father, hugging him tightly back. When John pulled back with an affectionate smile on his face, he rested his hands on Dean's shoulders and told his son he was proud of him, that he would stick by him through anything and everything Dean went through. Dean smiled back at his father, at the rest of his amazing family and pulled them all into his arms, thanking them for being understanding.

Thinking back to this moment, then to what Castiel had said about not telling anyone, and assumed that that was what is holding him back from telling his brother, and mumbled "It's none of your business." Ending the conversation.

Sam frowned at Dean's answer but didn't take it any further and they sat uncomfortably, with just the music blaring from the radio breaking the silence all the way home.

\----

As soon as Castiel got to his home from Dean's house, he didn't bother waiting for the elevator and ran up the three flights of stairs before reaching his room on the top floor that he shared with his brother, Gabriel. He slammed the door shut behind him and turned the lock so no one could barge in. He slumped to the floor, leaning back on the door and pulled his legs up, resting his chin on his knees. He ran his fingers through his hair and exhaled deeply.

" _Fuck_... Fucking hell." Cas moaned, pressing his head back on the door behind him, closing his eyes. He stayed there for a few minutes, processing the earlier happenings over and over in his head. Castiel opened his eyes and looked around his room. His eyes skimmed over the few posters he had stuck up in his room, smiling softly at the goofy face on Roy Stride. Cas got up and went over to the laptop on his desk, put some music on shuffle and lay on his bed closing his eyes again, not paying any attention to the lyrics but just listening to the melody.

After sitting through ten or so songs, Castiel got off his bed and went to his closet. He pulled out a pair of black skinny jeans and a Batman t-shirt, and quickly got changed out the of the rumpled suit his older brother made him wear. Pulling on his trenchcoat and black high-top converse he looked over to the clock that hung on his wall. He had about three hours to kill before Michael came home and demanded the whole family sat down to an uncomfortably silent dinner.

Castiel unlocked his door, listened for any noise in case another member of family was home. When he knew the coast was clear he walked to the elevator down the corridor and stepped inside. Cas rarely used the lift and he thought it was a stupid thing to have in a family home, then again his brothers were far from a family, except maybe Gabriel. Even still, right now he couldn't be bothered to face three flights of stairs again and pressed the ground floor button. He sighed as the doors closed and slumped against the wall.

When the doors slowly parted, Castiel made his way to the front door directly in front of him. Even though he was certain there was no one in the house, he still didn't look back to check, and as soon as he was outside he pushed the door to,hearing the lock click and made his way down the street to the Starbucks two blocks away.

Castiel ordered his usual of a black coffee with a sprinkle of cinnamon, and sat in his favourite chair on the top floor, in front of a big window the length of the wall. He sipped his drink, winced slightly at the burn it left, and looked onto the busy street below. Castiel took his earphones from his pocket and and shoved them into his ears, plugged them into his iPod and pressed shuffle, blocking the rest of the noise out.

Three coffees later, Castiel felt like going for a walk. Cas pulled his coat tighter as he stepped outside and set off walking in the opposite direction to his house.

After aimlessly walking around for about half an hour, Castiel subconsciously found his way to the street of the Winchester household. Cas paused when he noticed, but clenched his fists and marched to Dean's house and knocked loudly on their front door. Any confidence Castiel had, had drained out of his body as the other boy's front opened slowly, revealing a middle aged man with a stern face on the other side.

\----

A couple of hours after the brothers arrived home from the library, Dean found himself in his room, giving a half arsed attempt at his algebra homework. He couldn't concentrate properly as his brain was replaying his and Castiel's kiss over and over in his head. No matter how much Dean would try to stop thinking about it he couldn't, and each time he remembered the kiss the angrier he got. Dean didn't know why he felt like this. He should be feeling happy shouldn't he? He took part in a perfect kiss with someone he's had a crush on for years, so why isn't he jumping up and down with joy? The fact that he didn't know why he was feeling so down, was making him feel worse.

There was a knock on Dean's door and, when Dean had called to come in, Mary walked into his room, closing the door behind her. She went over to Dean's bed and sat on it facing her son, who was still sat at his desk. Dean swivelled round in his chair so he was facing Mary, and waited for her to say something. After a few moments of just looking at each other, Mary with a soft smile on her face that looked almost mischievous, Mary finally spoke.

"Castiel seemed nice." Dean's heartbeat sped up at the mention of Cas, but Dean kept his face blank, determined for his emotions not to get the better of him.

"Yeah, he's okay. I guess." Dean agreed keeping his voice steady, hoping his mother wouldn't recognise how uncomfortable the subject of Cas is. By the smirk that grew from Mary's smile, Dean guessed it hadn't worked and looked away from his mom's gaze.

"You two seem close?" She said, turning it into a question. Dean could feel himself become red.

"Erm not really, we don't really know each other" Dean answered, sad that he was telling the truth. Mary let out a small giggle and Dean's eyes snapped back on her. She was leaning back on the bed, using her palms to keep her upright, still looking at Dean.

"That's not what it looked like to me." She said casually. Dean's eyes grew wide, while Mary laughed again, louder than the first.

"What uh... What are you talking about?" Dean asked nervously, regretting it almost immediately. How could Mary know about the kiss? She couldn't, shouldn't know about it. She can't know, Dean thought. Dean was, of course, wrong.

"You know what I'm talking about Dean." She replied. When he didn't answer her Mary continued. "Honey, you were attacking each others faces in the front garden." When she saw Dean shake his head slightly she held up her finger and said, "and don't you dare say you weren't, I saw you. With my eyes." On any other day, Dean would have said some stupid remark about how else could she have seen if it wasn't for her eyes, but Dean was too busy to, trying to get over the fact that his mother had witnessed a, somewhat, heated kiss between her son and a boy she'd never met before. Mary stood up and walked over to him, placing a hand softly on his shoulder. "Why didn't you just tell me you have a boyfriend?" She asked innocently. Dean looked up at her, and felt himself getting angry again.

"Because he's not my boyfriend!" He explained, standing up away from his mothers touch, pacing back and forth as he continued. "He spoke to me for the first time in four years today, and thinks that gives him the right to follow me home and jump me. He kissed me, obviously expecting me to kiss back!" Dean knew he was telling Mary the opposite of what Cas had told him, but he assumed that Castiel had only said what he said to make him seem like a dick. Dean didn't really think that, but it was more believable than someone like Castiel actually being nervous to kiss him. He just couldn't understand that Castiel was scared to kiss Dean. It just didn't make sense. When he thought of Castiel's hands on his body, or their lips locked together, Cas seemed to be full of confidence, and Dean liked that. Usually, Dean was the more dominant person, he liked to take the lead of the situation, but the more he thought about Castiel being in charge, the more he liked the idea of being submissive whenever they kiss.

Dean stopped still in sudden realisation. He understood, now, why he feels the way he does, why he's been getting so worked up over one stupid kiss. It's because he didn't want it to be just _one_ stupid kiss. When he thought about kissing Castiel again, it made him feel sad because he knows it will, most probably, never happen again. Dean walked over to his bed and sat on it and Mary joined him, placing a hand on his knee. She looked at him with anything but sympathy, like she knew the real truth.

"Dean I want you to listen to me." She told her son. When he nodded she continued. "Now, I know I'm not the most observant of people, God knows I'm not the cleverest," Mary said, earning a small smile and a shake of Dean's head, "but I know what I saw." Dean stopped smiling and nodded instead, not needing his mom to elaborate to understand the point she was trying to get across. Mary smiled at him gently. There was a knock at the front door downstairs, and Mary patted Dean's knee before standing up and making her way to the door. "Dinner's at 7." She called over her shoulder, and Dean nodded even though she couldn't see him.

\----

"Can I help you?" The man on the other side of the door asked. Castiel cleared his throat and nodded.

"I'd like to speak with Dean, please. I mean, if that's okay with you?" Castiel asked politely. The man looked him up and down and Cas squirmed a little, waiting for an answer.

"What's your name, boy?" The older man asked, squinting slightly, as though the sun was in his eyes. Castiel wiped his hand on his coat before sticking it out in front of him, towards the man stood before him.

"Castiel. Castiel Novak." He let out a small sigh when the other man took his hand and shook it firmly.

"John, Dean's dad." He said with a small smile. Castiel nodded and withdrew his hand. "Novak? Where have I heard that name before?" He asked himself. Castiel answered for him.

"My brother owns his own diner in town, it's pretty well known." Cas said modestly. Castiel's brother, Michael, does own his own business, but it's a chain of different restaurants and pubs throughout America. All named after him, of course.

John nodded in realisation. "I know the place, been there a few times. It's nice, does great food."

"I wouldn't know, I've never been." Castiel said, truthfully. He's never been to one of his families restaurants and, to be honest, he doesn't want to. Maybe someday he will, but right now he's perfectly happy with Starbucks and White Castle.

Before John could say anything in return Mary came to the door, smiling widely at Cas. "Hello Castiel, what are you doing here?" She asked politely. Castiel smiled back at Mary, greeting her with a nod.

"I was just wondering if it would be okay to talk to Dean?" He replied. Mary pulled John out of the way of the door and gestured for Castiel to come in.

"Yeah, of course, come in." Castiel walked inside, John shutting the door behind him. Mary headed for the staircase opposite her. "I'll just go get Dean."

"Actually, I was hoping to speak to him in is room," Castiel said, looking between the two adults in front of him before adding, "in private." Dean's parents glanced at each other before Mary nodded, stepping out of Cas' way. Castiel smiled at the two of them before starting to climb the stairs.

"Turn left and it's the first door you come to," he heard John call, "knock first." Castiel turned to them in acknowledgement and made his way to Dean's room. Cas heard Mary mutter something to John, but couldn't quite make it out and carried on up the stairs.

Castiel stood in front of Dean's door for longer than he's care to admit. He was nervous about how Dean would react to seeing him. He was pretty certain that he would be a little bit mad at him, if not for the kiss but for practically running away afterwards. Castiel knocked on the door loudly twice before opening it slightly. He heard a rustle that sounded like bed sheets, then a voice granting him access. Castiel opened the door wider and stepped inside, stopping half way between the door and Dean's bed, looking around the other boy's room.

On every wall there were different posters of all sorts of things, 80's rock bands, old sci-fi films that Castiel has never seen, and a few ones of newer films that Castiel had seen advertised at the cinema. There was an old looking desk with a computer sat in the middle of it, textbooks scattered all around the monitor. Next to the desk there was a keyboard, which was a surprise to Castiel as he didn't think Dean would be the type to play the piano. There were papers full of lines, dots and scribbles on a stand on top of the keyboard, which Castiel assumed Dean had written. There were a few clothes left on the floor, but overall the room was tidy. Looking over to Dean's bed, Castiel inhaled quickly. Dean was laying on his back, legs spread along the length of the bed. Castiel couldn't see Dean's face as he had a comic book sitting up on his stomach, his hands clutching onto it, as he read it. There was a thin strip of skin that has been uncovered as his top had ridden up his body to just under his belly button. Castiel gulped at the sight in front of him.

"Cas?" Dean said, snapping Castiel out of the trance the other boys body had got him in. "What are you...? Why are you in my room?" Dean asked, and, to Castiel's relief, he sounded more confused than angry.

"I.. I wanted to talk to you. About. Well, you know." Was Castiel's reply. He could feel himself getting red. "I just wanted to say that that kiss was the best one I've ever had. Ever. And I would very much like to do it again." Castiel hadn't meant to say it like that and internally moaned at how cheesy he sounded, wishing he could take it back. Cas looked away from Dean, looking anywhere else but the other boy.

He heard Dean move from his bed and walk up to Castiel. They stood about a yard from each other for a moment before Dean took another step forward, right into Castiel's personal space. Castiel's eyes flicked back, looking into Dean's green eyes. There was no emotion on Dean's face, but his features were soft and this calmed Castiel a little.

Dean reached behind Castiel, over his shoulder, and pushed the door to. Dean moved back and his hand brushed against Castiel's neck, making him shiver. Cas heard Dean inhale sharply as he took a baby step closer to him, their noses almost touching, eyes still locked on each other's. Castiel waited, he wanted to make sure that Dean wanted this, so he paused, waiting for Dean to, hopefully, reassure Cas. Dean caught on quick and moved forward slightly, their mouths ghosting over each other's. For a moment they stayed there until Castiel couldn't stand the almost non existence distance between them, and closed his lips around Dean's.

This kiss was different to the first one. The other kiss the boys had was sloppy and fast, manic from the rush of kissing each other for the first time and, for Castiel, kissing another male for the first time too. The kiss they were sharing now, however, was slow and passionate. Castiel put his arms around Dean's waist, pressing them together tightly, while Dean was tugging at and running his hands through Castiel's already messy hair. The kiss remained closed mouth for a while until Dean flicked his tongue at Castiel's lips, he parted them and Dean's tongue entered Cas' mouth.

Dean forced Castiel against the door and pushed himself against him. Dean slowly rocked his hips but stopped when Castiel stilled from the feeling. Dean pulled back from Castiel's mouth, but Cas tightened his arms around Dean and pressed their bodies close again. Dean smirked at Castiel and moved his hand from the other boys hair, tracing them down his body, to just below his ass, pulling up at his thighs gently. Castiel understood what Dean was asking and leaned in to kiss Dean again, moved his arms to around his neck and jumped up, wrapping his legs around Dean's waist, Dean's hands holding him securely in place, rolling into Cas.

Castiel pulled away to breath and rested his head against the door, Dean still holding him in place with Castiel's hands tugging the short hairs on the back of his neck. Dean took advantage of Cas' bare neck and started kissing along it, nipping lightly with his teeth. Castiel's breath hitched as Dean latched his lips just under his jaw and started sucking a mark there. Castiel smiled slightly, liking the idea of being marked by Dean in such an obvious place. Castiel stilled suddenly, making Dean look up. Cas put his legs down, moving Dean's hands from him in the motion and pushed the other boy away from him. Dean stepped away from Castiel confused, arms still raised slightly.

"I'm sorry." Dean said softly, looking down to the floor. He lowered his arms and put his hands in his pockets. Cas looked at Dean, hating how small and how unlike himself he looked. Castiel moved closer to Dean, reached up and took Dean's cheek in his hand, lifting his head up. He ran his thumb across his freckled cheek, feeling Dean lean into the touch.

"What are you apologising for?" Castiel asked, looking into Dean's green eyes.

"For whatever I did wrong. I'm sorry. Dean answered, sadness in his voice. Castiel moved his hand from Dean's face and pulled the other boys hands from his pockets, lacing their fingers together. Dean looked down at their hands and, from what Cas could see, smiled.

"Dean, I assure you, you did nothing wrong." Castiel said honestly. "I'ts just, I'm new to this," he explained, gesturing between the two of them with their intertwined hands. "And I don't think I'm ready for the conversation with my family about who gave me marks. I need a bit of time, you know." Cas hoped Dean understood where he was coming from, why he couldn't rush into things.

Dean nodded, looking back at Castiel, smiling. "I get it, it okay." He said reassuringly. "I can wait." He added softly, almost inaudible.

Castiel smiled back at him and lifted his right hand, Dean's left coming up too, and kissed the back of Dean's hand. "Thank you." He spoke into his hand, and he meant it.

Dean smiled wider and squeezed Castiel's hand. Castiel squeezed his back and lowered them so they were just stood there, looking at each other. Dean leaned in and gave Castiel a chaste kiss then pulled back after a few seconds, leaving Cas wanting more. Dean smirked at Castiel and asked hopefully, "You wanna stay here for a while?" Castiel looked into Dean's eyes before smiling softly at him, rubbing his thumb across Dean's.

"Of course."


End file.
